Schedules

Summertime is a bittersweet season for me.  My Southern California-raised self thrives in the warm sunshine, and I enjoy the kids being out of school.  But I also thrive on a schedule, and the long unorganized days can start to stress me out.  I guess I'm kind of a control freak.  I need structure, but not too much.  There is an art to using a schedule to one's advantage, but not allowing it to rule and burden and cause stress.

I am a firm believer that adults and children thrive when their environment is not chaotic.  Some days it's fun to laze and be tossed with the winds of whim, but on a regular basis, our home operates with organization, even in the summer.  Here are some ideas that have proven helpful in our family:

• While we don't have a set bedtime, we do have a regular bedtime.  It ebbs and flows with our activities, but doesn't vary greatly.
• As much as I'd like to sleep in without an alarm every day, I don't.  I need to get my exercise in early so it isn't superseded by other demands on my time.  My hubby and I allow ourselves a couple of days each week to sleep as long as we want, but the other days we get up at a reasonable hour and get going.  Why waste the beautiful summer weather in bed?  My kids wake up at their leisure, but due to our bedtime, no one sleeps very late.
• We don't eat according to the clock, but we have regular meals as a family (whoever is home).  Nutrition is improved, kitchen order is improved, and we can connect every few hours between all the activity.
• Children must have their chores, music practice, and morning routine finished before they can go anywhere, and usually before lunchtime if they are staying home.
• I devise a loose schedule at the beginning of the summer to guide our activities, prevent sameness and boredom, and have the kids pitch in at home more since they have more free time.  Each day is assigned a simple theme that we follow as long as there isn't another big event at the same time, like out-of-town visitors or summer camp. (More on this schedule next time)
• Sunday evening is our family planning meeting.  We talk about what is scheduled for the week and who needs to be where and when.  We can also make any extra plans we want, and get organized for upcoming events.  When everyone is aware ahead of time, we can avoid scheduling conflicts and surprises.
• I allow my children to make most of their own decisions about how they spend their time.  There are some days when we have a family outing or family movie party for example, that each child is required to participate without friends.  I also occasionally ask the younger ones to grab a book and go relax with it.  When these things happen, no one complains even if it wasn't what they would have chosen.  It affirms to me that they thrive on a little bit of structure, especially when they've had their freedom.
• When our days become too busy and I feel my stress level rising, I let go of the scheduled stuff a little.  If my schedule isn't being a positive in our family life, then I let it go for awhile and pick it back up when things slow down.  When my schedule is driving me, then I know it's too much.  When I'm feeling like we're getting the most out of our time and enjoying each other, then I know the schedule is in its proper place.

So, I'm anxious for your ideas on how you deal with the change from school year to summertime?

Real life simplicity

I've decided to resume blogging after a long sabbatical. Where have I been? Buried under the heap of life! As my plate filled up this past year, I methodically reviewed each of my responsibilities and mentally ordered them. I focused intently on the highest priorities, and gracefully axed each one that I felt was low on the priority list. This was not easy since some of the things I had to let go were important to me (like blogging), but it was a necessary task to preserve my sanity and the integrity of our family structure.

Our family was involved in a huge undertaking of home remodeling, and that is just about finished now. My baby is also starting kindergarten this fall (how did I get this old???) and I wanted to squeeze every possible moment out of his last year at home. On the flipside of that coin, my oldest will be flying the coop in not too many years, so in a nutshell, my mothering has taken a new perspective. I decided to be proactive with fine-tuning my health and have focused on changing some long-time issues. These are not in any particular order, nor is it an all-inclusive list.

I have learned a lot in this process...practical things like realizing that life doesn't come to a screeching halt if :

• I'm not active in the PTA
• My children eat something that isn't homemade, healthy, and tasty
• I stay in my pajamas longer than usual 
• I don't answer the phone

I also learned really important things about my life's purpose and the people most important to me. This whole process is ongoing, and I hope it always will be in order to keep me re-evaluating and priorititizing and focusing on the good stuff.

It's impossible to have a long range perspective all the time; laundry has to be done, hair needs to be washed, and we have bad days. Being able to let things go, and making decisions that guide our actions are skills necessary to lead a simple life. Here's to the process!