Vacation

Even with vacation, it's the small things we do that make our life and routine simple and calming.  My husband took me with him on an international trip this month to a business conference he attended.  Some steps I took to reduce stress preparing for the trip and upon our return might be helpful to you too:

1. Establish a trip folder early on in the planning stages.  From the get go I got a manila envelope and wrote with a marker in big letters "SPAIN" on the outside.  Into it went our travel itinerary, tourist info, hotel reservations, trip insurance documents, etc. This envelope went into my carry-on bag when we left in order to have it at my fingertips.

2. Establish document templates and save to reuse.  Because we often rely on relatives to keep our children, I have an information sheet that I can update with each trip and easily print out for their use.  It includes children's routines, emergency phone numbers, copies of insurance cards, permission to medically treat in our absence, etc.  Though we usually use the same caretakers and they might already have some of this information, I think it is appreciated that it is all in one place and again, at their fingertips.  I also have an information sheet for the neighbor kid that comes to care for the animals and garden.

3. Clean the house!  My kids always ask why I need to clean the house thoroughly before we leave because, in their logic, no one will be here to see it anyway.  I am kind of a stress case when it comes to the order of the house before we leave.  All trash must be emptied, dishes clean, nothing on the floor or counters.  I even wash my bed sheets and make my bed up.  When I dragged my jet-lagged body into the house along with 8 people's worth of luggage and dirty laundry, the sight of a tidy house was a soothing sight.  One less thing to worry about.  And I won't even try to describe how those clean sheets felt on my newly-bathed and tired body that night.

4. Simple dinner, on time to bed.  On our drive home I was figuring out in my head what we were going to eat for dinner so I wouldn't react with take-out or junk.  My kids were asking for a drive-through meal on the way home, but I reminded them that we had all been eating more than our share of junk while on vacation.  My husband and I eating out, and the kids being spoiled by grandparents and uncles/aunts with pizza, ice cream, kids' meals, etc.  So I heated up some home-canned soup, made some biscuits, and sliced up some fresh tomatoes and fruit which we picked up at the fruit stand on our way home.  Then, we all went to bed on time even though it was Saturday night and our usual routine includes movies, late nights out with friends, or backyard campfires and s'mores after dark.  I knew we all needed to catch up and we had a much more peaceful morning after.

Little things make these huge undertakings that much easier, and enjoyable.  What steps do you take before and after you go on vacation?

Food #3

I promise this is the last food post.  I have had sinus problems and congestion my whole life.  I have read about a link between dairy and respiratory/nasal/sinus issues.  I decided to do a 3-week trial of eliminating dairy.  I noticed a big difference.  Usually I have a Kleenex on hand 24/7 because my nose always runs.  At the end of the 3 weeks I noticed that I was going the whole day without needing a tissue.  And that annoying junk in the back of my throat was gone.  Success!  Here's the problem:  it's hard to eliminate dairy.  Milk--no problem, I hate it.  Ice cream and cheese are more difficult, but doable for me.  The hardest part is all the hidden dairy in recipes and prepared foods.  I found myself having to make separate dishes for my family and for me.  Big pain.  So I have compromised and mostly avoid dairy.  I use almond milk on my granola, leave the cheese off the top of my portion of dinner and out of my sandwiches, and I only eat a bite or two of ice cream instead of a bowl when we have it.  I guess the little congestion is worth it for me.  Have you ever eliminated dairy?  What benefits did you notice?  Any other side effects?  This is still a work in progress for me.

As I have made improvements in my diet it has been a slow process.  And I think that is why it has been successful for me and it has stuck as permanent habits.  If I had had to go from where I was when I ate whatever, whenever to how I eat now overnight, I think I would have rebelled.  Incremental changes are the key for me.  Another key is moderation.  I don't want to scan every ingredient list and grill the waiter when I eat out.  And I don't want to abstain from my child's birthday cake.  So I do my best most of the time, and then I don't sweat the small infractions.  I guess I'm okay with an A-.

Food #2

Like I said in the last post, I have pared down my diet, eliminating or reducing the extraneous things in an effort to improve health.  I would rather tweak my diet and lifestyle than seek out medication or medical procedures.  I go to the doctor and I trust my doctor, but I truly believe that God blessed us with lots of ways to heal our minds and bodies, only one of them being medicine.

Let's talk about sugar.  I admit that I am a sugar addict.  I crave it, I lack self-control around it, and once I start on it, I can't stop.  I tried to reduce my sugar intake to no avail. A little bit made me want more.  So I decided to cut it out.  I tried several times, all the while telling myself I couldn't do it because I'm too much of a chocoholic.  But I finally did it with a few exceptions:  I eat sweets on special occasions, and I haven't cut out occasional quality dark chocolate.  I think it's my release valve and I justify it with all the health claims.

The first few days after divorcing myself from sugar are the worst--the withdrawal hits.  I get intense cravings and I get grumpy.  But after that the need disappears.  A tempting sweet can lure me, but I have few self-initiated cravings.  The habit is still there, but the physical yearning is gone.

So while I can avoid candy and other stuff like that, I had to figure out how to cook and bake without sugar.  I have used honey for awhile now, but in some applications the flavor is too strong and alters the taste of the food.  I use stevia and agave nectar with success.  Stevia works well in small amounts only.  I tried using it in a recipe that called for about 1/3 cup of sugar and the off-taste was too present.  But I can make a great cup of hot cocoa with a packet of stevia.  I use agave nectar when I want to replace sugar without the honey taste and the amount is more than a few teaspoons.  I make all my quick breads (pancakes, muffins, banana bread, etc.) with agave or honey and the texture is the same.  I think the flavor is a little less sweet, but that may be due to the fact that I use less honey or agave than sugar in the recipe because I am trying to refine my kids' taste for super sweet foods.

Last week I decided to try out cookies.  I thought it'd be an experiment where I'd have to make the same recipe multiple times trying to get it right.  I made a peanut blossom recipe with agave.  I had to add a little bit more flour because the dough was too soft, but they came out great.  I was pleasantly surprised with how well they turned out.  My kids had no idea they were 100% whole wheat and sugar-free (with the exception of the Hershey kiss on top--it's all about presentation, right?).

There are arguments that sugar substitutes are chemically equivalent to sugar and our bodies react in the same way to them, so why switch?  I don't know the answers to all of that, but I do know that even if it's true, I am less likely to overdo it on a food made with honey than I would be with candy or brownies.

The hardest part of this new sugar-free life is a group situation that involves dessert, for example going out for ice cream as a family, or attending an event where dessert is served.  At these times I use my discretion.  Sometimes I abstain and sometimes I use my exception option (see paragraph 2).

The benefits from this decision are many.  I feel like I am still gradually discovering them.  The biggest one for me is the reduction in my dependence on sweets.  Another unexpected benefit:  my body requires less sleep and I feel more alert during the day.  I used to nod off when I sat down to read stories to kids and if I didn't get 8+ hours per night I was tired and had a hard time dragging out of bed.  That has changed.  I haven't had a nap since I began this seriously (I want to take one just for fun though--I miss that delicious sun-coming-in-the-window afternoon nap).  I like to think that I'm more healthy in general as well.  Since I haven't lost any weight, that means my caloric level has remained constant.  So the calories I used to eat in sugar are now being consumed by more healthy foods and that's definitely an advantage.  And finally, the psychological benefit:  the success of conquering an addiction that I was slave to has strengthened me.  I did something I thought was impossible for me.  Have you ever tried to cut something out?  How did it go?

Food

I need to simplify somewhere in order to find more time to write!  I thought I'd share what I've been doing with my diet lately.  It's been a long process, but I have slowly eliminated or reduced what I deem the "extras"--refined sugar, preservatives, food colors, white flour, and most recently dairy.

I was raised on a simple diet of made-from-scratch meals and lots of fruits and vegetables.  I was always jealous of the kids who had Wonder Bread and Ding Dongs in their lunch boxes.  But I am grateful for the foundation my mom laid for us early of a wholesome diet with few processed foods.

My earliest big change was to nearly eliminate refined flour.  It's a known fact that whole grains are where it's at where nutrition is concerned.  I bake our bread and most of our treats and other 'carbs' with whole wheat flour.  If you can grind your own white wheat (which is a lighter wheat) or find a good quality whole wheat pastry flour, you can create fantastic baked goods with a nutritional edge.  It makes me feel better about fulfilling my maternal duty to provide my kids with homemade cookies when they are whole wheat.  I started early enough in their lives that they didn't notice and now are used to it, but if you are starting later in the game, go gradually so you don't have a revolt.  My husband has a more sensitive palate and can tell the difference, but I figure it's a small sacrifice to make in flavor for a big investment in health.

Unfortunately most baked goods you can buy in the store are not 100% whole grain, so I don't buy them very often.  They have become a special treat rather than our daily fare.  And they are now more special since they are rare.

Eating foods that are nearest their natural state is the best (and sometimes most simplest) way to eat.  Nutritionally, it's a no-brainer.  I am also learning more about how foods are processed and refined and it makes me happier with my decision when I read about the different chemical processes that our food undergoes to arrive in our stores in an attractive and tasty package.  There are also environmental impacts with these things (just a little bit of a tree-hugger, I promise).  If you aren't a home cook, there are good options for whole grain breads, tortillas, cereals, and even some snacks that you can buy ready-made.

I will discuss the other foods I mentioned in future posts, but for now, where do you fall on the grain spectrum?  Do you notice a difference in your life with the food choices you make?  Is it hard to get your family on board?

Journaling

I have kept a journal most of my life.  I record the important events like our children being born, big decisions we've made, or spiritual experiences I want to remember.  I usually let long periods of time go between each entry and then feel like I have to write an epic entry to catch up.  It's overwhelming because you really can't capture 8 months or so in a few pages.  So oftentimes, I avoid it since I am daunted by the task of filling in the big gap.  I was also thinking regretfully of my lack of journaling during my courtship and engagement with my husband.  I was too busy being wrapped up in him to write.  I wish I knew the exact day of our first date and the way I knew I was in love with him.  Most of it is lost to my memory and I wish I could relive the parts I've forgotten.  So when it was suggested to me that I write just a few lines every single day I knew it was the solution.  My knee-jerk reaction was thinking that you can't really do justice to life in a few lines.  But I countered with, "well, a few lines is better than what you're doing now--which is nothing."  So I write in my journal every night before bed.  I'll write some of the things I did during the day or capture a thought I had about a member of my family or what I am thankful for.  Sometimes I just write something funny one of the kids said.  It's been very satisfying to me to fill up the pages of my journal in this way.  I think I'm capturing more closely my 'real' life by recording daily events than I do when I write about the big events.  Periodically I want to record a longer entry when I need to, but for now, this fits my life.  How do you journal?

Laundry

I recently heard a woman lament over her daily tasks, one of which was to throw in a load of laundry--every day.  I was shocked.  I realized that I have a great laundry system.  I learned by example while growing up and have added some of my own ideas.

1. Do laundry only once a week.  Pick a day and set it in stone.  Unless someone has an accident or we make an unusually messy mess, everything goes in our dirty clothes baskets and stays there until Tuesday.  I also keep a smaller basket with large holes all over it for ventilation in the laundry room for wet dirty things to avoid mold in the bedroom baskets.   BENEFITS:  1: Doing laundry only weekly reduces the volume of laundry because doing it more often gives you a chance to go looking for things to clean in order to make a full load.  2: You will also save energy because you are washing full loads rather than daily small loads.  3: More household order because when laundry is a daily event, it is always in some part of the process, which means you always have laundry out, which means a mess.  4: Children learn to economize by not changing clothes multiple times per day or throwing clean clothes in the laundry basket to avoid putting it away when they know they have a whole week before it will be returned to them.
2. Allow your children to fold their own laundry and put it away.  Pick an age when your children are old enough to start folding their own laundry and deliver them a pile of freshly washed laundry.  They need to fold it and put it away.  We started this at age 6 in our family.  Teach them the basics and then let them do it even if it's not 'right' or 'good.'  Be patient.  The goal is not to have picturesque dresser drawers.  The goal is to raise independent children.  BENEFITS:  1: Children learn life skills and gain confidence as they master those skills.  2: Children gain a sense of ownership and pride in their possessions and management of life.  3: Your workload is lightened.
3. Allow your children to wash their own laundry when they are mature enough.  This isn't always an age-based decision.  Some of my children were ready to start doing their own laundry at age 11 and some not until 13.  Just like me, they get one day a week to do their laundry.  BENEFITS:  1: Children learn to use the laundry machines and basic laundry principles.  (My daughter learned this lesson the hard way recently when she washed new jeans with something white and had to figure out how to reverse the damage).  2:  Again, children take ownership.  They learn that there is no laundry fairy.  3:  Again, children learn to economize by not producing more laundry than they are willing to wash and put away.
4. To work up to #3, allow your children to wash a load of something a couple of years before they are ready to do laundry.  We started with the throw rugs and towels.  One child is responsible for washing all the bathroom towels or all the throw rugs once a week and putting them away neatly.  BENEFITS:  1: They learn laundry basics in a simple setting.  It's hard to mess up towels.  2: Your load is lightened. 
5. Develop a system and teach your family to use it.  Have a designated place for dirty clothes, sorting laundry, clean laundry (I have a dirty basket in each bedroom and a 4-bag sorter in the laundry room and two baskets for clean things).  Make policies about how and where laundry is to be folded.  (My pet peeve is laundry in the living room so we have a rule that they have to fold it in their bedrooms or in the laundry room.  My other pet peeve was piles of clothes all over the floor during laundry day, which motivated me to buy the laundry sorter and additional baskets)  BENEFITS:  1: You don't have to wander the house looking for stray laundry on laundry day.  2: Clean and dirty clothes aren't getting mixed up.  3: Regular systems streamline the time you spend on chores because you aren't thinking and solving problems as you go along.  Decide once how it's done and then turn on auto-pilot.

I appreciate my mom's example of laundry once a week.  It makes my laundry day full, but it frees up the rest of the week for other tasks.  One thing I wish she had done was to allow me to do my own laundry.  We had to fold all the household laundry once it was washed, but I had to call her when I went away to college to figure out the washing machine.  One of my favorite things to say to kids when they complain about helping with the laundry (because they will at first) is "You don't have to do it as long as you don't wear clothes."  So far no one's taken me up on that.

The "S" word and the "F" word

No, I'm not going PG-13 on you.  I heard someone talking about the "F" word recently--FINISH. Finishing a task is sometimes the hardest part.  It is also the most satisfying.  This woman's take on finishing was that we would save ourselves a lot of time and trouble if we just finished.  How many times do we start folding that basket of laundry and go onto something else only to find that half-finished basket still there 2 days later?  A few minutes is all it would take to complete the chore, but for some reason we put it off thinking we don't have the time right now.  When faced with a large project I usually get the bulk of it done and then kind of let the remaining details fall into place gradually.  Take for instance painting a room.  We get the painting done, but how long does it take us to replace the furniture and put all the painting supplies away?  Days or weeks in our house.  I have made an effort lately to finish 100% the projects that I start and the satisfaction of a job well done is so much greater than when I do most of it, vowing to myself to do it later.  Try it.

So, now the "S" word--START.  I usually have several minute tasks at hand...those tasks that aren't significant enough to make it onto my to-do list.  So in consequence they get ignored and forgotten.  But every once in awhile the piles aggravate me and the missing buttons become a problem.  This morning I had a rare window of time in which everyone was at school or asleep.  I decided to tackle some of these mini to-dos.  I straightened the books on my book shelf, put new toilet paper rolls in each bathroom, processed the pile of papers under my purse, returned my reusable bags to the car from the counter where they had been sitting since my last shopping trip, stuck the pile of pins on my dresser in my pin cushion, organized my husband's dresser top, put the stuff on my closet floor away, and emptied the trash even though it wasn't overflowing yet.  Examples of things that don't stop the household from running or even make anyone notice when they're completed.  But small things often add up to a big deal, and I feel like I can start my day now a little less weighed down.  How do you motivate yourself to start and/or finish the things on or off of your to-do list?

Un-simplifying Life

I did something last month that really complicated my life.  Anti-simplification.  Extra work and frustration.  More worry and expense.  This seems to go against everything I believe in.  But I did it anyway.  Actually, we did it: we got a dog.  I swore I'd never have another dog in this lifetime.  I was waiting until the next one, you know, when they are designed without tongues, butts, or fur.  What got into me?

I guess my desire to focus on the family, spend more time doing what the kids are interested in, that kind of thing is what prompted it all.  The kids have been asking for a dog for years.  Our last dog was really out to get me.  Her name wasn't Betsy Bad Dog for no reason.  She had a personal vendetta against me--and I against her as a result.  So it happened I swore off dogs.

And now we have one. 

Result: the laughter, fun, excitement, and cooperation in our house has doubled.  Sometimes you have to do a little bit of work in order to create a happy experience.  Shaun and I were discussing similar things this past weekend and our discussion prompted him to use his Christmas money on games to play as a family.  I was impressed by that and so spent hours of my precious Sunday (my favorite day of the week) putting puzzles together with the kids and reading stories.  And it was the best Sunday I've had in a long time.  I have high hopes for this dog. 

P.S. He doesn't always wear a tie. 

Labeling

Labeling is one way in which I save myself a lot of time and frustration.  I like to use a labeler that prints out little stickers because of the neatness, but you can just as effectively label with a marker, masking tape or other adhesive labels.  Why label?

1. I live with lots of other people.  They don't all share my "a place for everything and everything in its place" philosophy.  When I label it makes the odds that they'll return an object to its place a little more likely because it is obvious where it belongs.

2. I can't count on my hands how many "Mom, where is the...?" questions I receive each day.  It has been even more frequent lately because of our recent move.  I save myself the time of showing someone where something is when I can simply point them toward the right closet and they can do the rest.

3. I really can't remember where I decided to store each and every little thing all the time.  Labeling saves me the time of opening several drawers or boxes to figure out which one contains what I'm trying to put away.  It also saves me the search time when I need it.  I'm more likely to put things away right now when I know exactly where it goes. 

Here is an example of one part of my closet:

I had to make an intial investment of time and money to get my closet organized to my liking, but I know it has saved me more time than I initially spent to set it up.  I'd love to see your ideas or suggestions on keeping your stuff where you want it.