Dating

My  husband and I celebrated our 16th anniversary this past summer.  So why am I writing about dating?  Because it is one of the major ways we keep our marriage beautiful.  My husband takes me on a date every week.  It is something I look forward to all week long.  I am so thankful for that time, that 'out,' that connection.  But most of all I know that I matter to him.  Our marriage matters to him.  And to me.  And that is why our weekly date night is set in stone.

Last Friday he came home from work with a bouquet of roses for me and we set out on our usual routine:

"Where do you want to go?"

"I don't care."

We ended up at a buffet because hubby really wanted a salad bar.  It didn't matter where we went.  We sat and talked and ate and he handed me a gift box.  I asked him what the special occasion was.  He just wanted to spend some of the money that was burning a hole in his pocket.  And he loves me.  He bought me a gift and brought me roses for no special reason at all.  I felt really loved and appreciated.  (The bonus was that he spent his own personal money on it--I won't see the bill)

It was a beautiful gesture that I will always remember.  It made me think that I don't put forth enough effort to surprise him with tokens of my love and appreciation.  It made me want to try harder to do that.  It can be much simpler than flowers and a gift.  Making the bed before he gets to it.  Offering a shoulder rub.  Bringing him his favorite soda.  Stopping to say hi at his workplace while I'm running errands.  Making his favorite meal.  All those little things that I would want someone to do for me, except more personalized to his preferences.

I get told all the time how lucky I am to go on a weekly date.  There is no luck to it.  Yes, I am very blessed to have a husband who holds that as priority, but we both put forth the effort to make sure it happens. 

-It is part of our monthly budget.  We have hit that long-looked-forward-to point of our lives where we don't have to hire a babysitter, but back a few years we still budgeted for dates, babysitters and all.  
-We schedule our dates at the first of the week.  Usually it's Friday but if there is another event we work around it.
-We are flexible.  Sometimes when money was tight we took a walk together, attended a free lecture, went to the park and ate homemade sandwiches.  It doesn't have to be dinner and movie to be a date.  A couple weeks back we went grocery shopping.  The point is that we do something together without the kids.

It's easy to let my marriage be the background for the rest of my life.  But when it's rough-going between us my whole world is turned upside down.  And when we're close and things are smooth my days are happy.  That is worth planning for.