Stuff

We recently moved to a new house.  Though it was a local move, it was still a LOT of work.  I'm not a pack rat but I was amazed at the amount of stuff we accumulated.  I took the move as a good opportunity to purge my household of unneeded stuff. 

I use the word stuff because I'm not sure what else to call it.  Junk isn't the right word because much of it was useful.  It wasn't technically clutter because it was all put away.  And it was all kinds of miscellaneous things.  Some of it was easy to get rid of--clothes that didn't get worn, books with torn covers and missing pages.  Some of it was extremely difficult like keepsakes my children had made for me, gifts I had received but didn't really need or like.  I struggled with some of those items.  There was the guilt factor because someone had given it to me and they might feel bad if I got rid of it, or you just don't get rid of such a nice thing.  I really went back and forth with myself.  I finally put them in a box, dropped it off at the thrift store donation center, and drove away.  My reaction was unexpected because instead of regret I felt immense relief, a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  I felt free.  I didn't even know this stuff was weighing me down, but being rid of it was liberating.  It made me want to get rid of more stuff.  And I did over and over again.  And it felt GOOD! 

So, how do you purge?  Go through each closet, drawer, shelf, box, etc.  As you consider your "stuff" ask yourself:

*When was the last time you used it? 
*Do you like it? 
*Is there a place where it belongs? (sometimes a clue to something being unneeded and unwanted is that is seems to "float" around the house and never really finds a home) 
*Is it useful? 
*Is it broken or missing parts?  If so, can it be fixed?  If so, are you really going to fix it anytime soon??? 

As you answer these questions you will start to realize what you can keep and what you can toss.  Don't throw away any useful items.  Donate them to a charitable organization or thrift store.  But don't fall into the trap of giving them to someone else in your household; that is only a devious way to keep stuff that you don't need.  It has to leave the house.  And don't be discouraged if your pile is small.  As you purge it becomes addictive and you will get more serious as you go.  Be patient.

A word about the guilt factor.  People are going to give you things every Christmas and birthday and Valentine's and anniversary for the rest of your life.  It is physically impossible to keep it all.  The way I decide is not clear cut, but there are some basic principles.  First, if you are going to get rid of it, take a digital photo first.  Usually we keep these kinds of things for the memory and a photo solves this.  Second, keep the especially meaningful cards and letters in a file and throw away the rest.  The thoughtful person achieved their intent by communicating their feelings for you and you graciously internalized those thoughts.  The card isn't the value, the thought is.  And third, if you really don't like or need the gift, someone else will.  You aren't eliminating the unfortunate mismatch of their gift and your preference by stashing it in a closet where it will never see the light.  You're just trying to forget about it.  By donating it you are keeping the goodwill in which it was given and passing on the item to someone who will appreciate it more than you.

Yes, I gave away some of my children's belongings.  Yes, I did feel a little bit bad while doing it.  No, they haven't noticed.  The key to purging someone else's stuff is to be careful.  If you think they are amenable to the idea, by all means involve them.  You can be the encouragement they need to do it.  I would never do it with another adult's belongings, but I didn't hesitate with my kids.  Case in point:  my children are still hoarding their valentine cards from two years ago.  I know my kids well enough that I knew what I could trash and what was important to them.  If I was in doubt, I left it alone. 

So why go to the trouble and mental discomfort of purging anyway?  Because the emotional freedom is reason enough.  But the more I can simplify my belongings, the lower my stress level: how do you feel when you are in a cluttered space versus a clean and orderly room?  I also save myself time spent cleaning, organizing, pushing aside to look for something else.  And as I have downsized I want less.  When I'm shopping I pause before I buy--do I want to find a place to put this?  Do I really need it?  It saves me money and maintains my simplified existence.

If you don't believe me, I challenge you to try it for yourself.