Summer!

Now for a little expansion on my last post about our summer schedule.  I would like to reiterate that this schedule is for our convenience.  There have already been days, and there will be more, when we completely dispense with the schedule because something bigger is going on (for example: summer camps, company, etc.).  My summer schedule is really a guide for long, open days.  When our days are already scheduled for us and busy, we go with that.  Trying to do both is stressful, which goes against the whole point.  

Our week features a different theme each day.  Before the day begins we already have a plan for what we are going to do and when.  I am a planner (can you tell?), so usually Sunday evening is our family planning day.  We discuss any formal plans or schedules and coordinate.  The event only takes up part of the day, except for rare occasions, so they don’t feel like I’m smothering them.  Some of our themes we’ve used are:

• Cleaning Day consists of one big cleaning job that we all complete together, such as deep cleaning a room.  I limit the time involved to about an hour or so, and then they have free time for the rest of the day.  Simple.  We don’t spend the whole day cleaning.  Yes, it’s more work to have little ones help you clean than doing it yourself.  No, it doesn’t get as clean as it would doing it yourself.  But we turn on music and have as much fun as someone can when cleaning.  And believe it or not, all these years of having my kids do chores are starting to pay off.  My teenagers are pretty decent housekeepers if I keep my finger on them.  I like to remind them that the maid isn’t coming today (I’m still waiting for her), and I can’t do it all, so they have to pitch in.

• Cooking Day:  it’s important to me to teach my kids how to cook good food.  Cooking day consists of all of us making a recipe together.  Sometimes it’s basic, like bread and sometimes it’s fun like caramel apples.  But we have a lot of fun doing it and I hope they are learning skills for the future.  Oh, and everyone helps clean up.

• Outing Day has been as simple as a picnic at the park and as complicated as riding the city bus into town and window shopping for the afternoon.  (Try it—your kids will love it)  My kids like to give suggestions and I make the final plans.  Some fun things we’ve done  include touring local businesses (candy factory, honey/beehive business, dairy), hikes, visiting dad at work for lunch, making boats from recycled trash and racing them in the stream at the park, and eating out.

• Movie Day: we watch a movie, sometimes in our pajamas, complete with popcorn and other treats.  Make sure you turn off the ringers and don’t answer the door.

• Friend Day is when each child gets to schedule a play date with a friend at our house.  This is usually reserved for those friends not in our neighborhood—you know the ones that you actually have to call beforehand.

• Library Day:  we’re big readers at our house and we go to the library regularly.  Library day serves two purposes:  to remind me to get us there often, and to keep the kids reading--if they know they have to return a book on a certain day, they'll make sure they finish it before then.  We also participate in the summer reading program so the kids are motivated to go and redeem prizes, etc.  Usually I schedule library day before movie day so we have a few movies to choose from.

I hope you send your summer activity ideas my way so I can add to this list.   Next time, look forward to a post about how I get my kids to pitch in even more.  This goes way beyond chores. 

Schedules

Summertime is a bittersweet season for me.  My Southern California-raised self thrives in the warm sunshine, and I enjoy the kids being out of school.  But I also thrive on a schedule, and the long unorganized days can start to stress me out.  I guess I'm kind of a control freak.  I need structure, but not too much.  There is an art to using a schedule to one's advantage, but not allowing it to rule and burden and cause stress.

I am a firm believer that adults and children thrive when their environment is not chaotic.  Some days it's fun to laze and be tossed with the winds of whim, but on a regular basis, our home operates with organization, even in the summer.  Here are some ideas that have proven helpful in our family:

• While we don't have a set bedtime, we do have a regular bedtime.  It ebbs and flows with our activities, but doesn't vary greatly.
• As much as I'd like to sleep in without an alarm every day, I don't.  I need to get my exercise in early so it isn't superseded by other demands on my time.  My hubby and I allow ourselves a couple of days each week to sleep as long as we want, but the other days we get up at a reasonable hour and get going.  Why waste the beautiful summer weather in bed?  My kids wake up at their leisure, but due to our bedtime, no one sleeps very late.
• We don't eat according to the clock, but we have regular meals as a family (whoever is home).  Nutrition is improved, kitchen order is improved, and we can connect every few hours between all the activity.
• Children must have their chores, music practice, and morning routine finished before they can go anywhere, and usually before lunchtime if they are staying home.
• I devise a loose schedule at the beginning of the summer to guide our activities, prevent sameness and boredom, and have the kids pitch in at home more since they have more free time.  Each day is assigned a simple theme that we follow as long as there isn't another big event at the same time, like out-of-town visitors or summer camp. (More on this schedule next time)
• Sunday evening is our family planning meeting.  We talk about what is scheduled for the week and who needs to be where and when.  We can also make any extra plans we want, and get organized for upcoming events.  When everyone is aware ahead of time, we can avoid scheduling conflicts and surprises.
• I allow my children to make most of their own decisions about how they spend their time.  There are some days when we have a family outing or family movie party for example, that each child is required to participate without friends.  I also occasionally ask the younger ones to grab a book and go relax with it.  When these things happen, no one complains even if it wasn't what they would have chosen.  It affirms to me that they thrive on a little bit of structure, especially when they've had their freedom.
• When our days become too busy and I feel my stress level rising, I let go of the scheduled stuff a little.  If my schedule isn't being a positive in our family life, then I let it go for awhile and pick it back up when things slow down.  When my schedule is driving me, then I know it's too much.  When I'm feeling like we're getting the most out of our time and enjoying each other, then I know the schedule is in its proper place.

So, I'm anxious for your ideas on how you deal with the change from school year to summertime?

Real life simplicity

I've decided to resume blogging after a long sabbatical. Where have I been? Buried under the heap of life! As my plate filled up this past year, I methodically reviewed each of my responsibilities and mentally ordered them. I focused intently on the highest priorities, and gracefully axed each one that I felt was low on the priority list. This was not easy since some of the things I had to let go were important to me (like blogging), but it was a necessary task to preserve my sanity and the integrity of our family structure.

Our family was involved in a huge undertaking of home remodeling, and that is just about finished now. My baby is also starting kindergarten this fall (how did I get this old???) and I wanted to squeeze every possible moment out of his last year at home. On the flipside of that coin, my oldest will be flying the coop in not too many years, so in a nutshell, my mothering has taken a new perspective. I decided to be proactive with fine-tuning my health and have focused on changing some long-time issues. These are not in any particular order, nor is it an all-inclusive list.

I have learned a lot in this process...practical things like realizing that life doesn't come to a screeching halt if :

• I'm not active in the PTA
• My children eat something that isn't homemade, healthy, and tasty
• I stay in my pajamas longer than usual 
• I don't answer the phone

I also learned really important things about my life's purpose and the people most important to me. This whole process is ongoing, and I hope it always will be in order to keep me re-evaluating and priorititizing and focusing on the good stuff.

It's impossible to have a long range perspective all the time; laundry has to be done, hair needs to be washed, and we have bad days. Being able to let things go, and making decisions that guide our actions are skills necessary to lead a simple life. Here's to the process!

Vacation

Even with vacation, it's the small things we do that make our life and routine simple and calming.  My husband took me with him on an international trip this month to a business conference he attended.  Some steps I took to reduce stress preparing for the trip and upon our return might be helpful to you too:

1. Establish a trip folder early on in the planning stages.  From the get go I got a manila envelope and wrote with a marker in big letters "SPAIN" on the outside.  Into it went our travel itinerary, tourist info, hotel reservations, trip insurance documents, etc. This envelope went into my carry-on bag when we left in order to have it at my fingertips.

2. Establish document templates and save to reuse.  Because we often rely on relatives to keep our children, I have an information sheet that I can update with each trip and easily print out for their use.  It includes children's routines, emergency phone numbers, copies of insurance cards, permission to medically treat in our absence, etc.  Though we usually use the same caretakers and they might already have some of this information, I think it is appreciated that it is all in one place and again, at their fingertips.  I also have an information sheet for the neighbor kid that comes to care for the animals and garden.

3. Clean the house!  My kids always ask why I need to clean the house thoroughly before we leave because, in their logic, no one will be here to see it anyway.  I am kind of a stress case when it comes to the order of the house before we leave.  All trash must be emptied, dishes clean, nothing on the floor or counters.  I even wash my bed sheets and make my bed up.  When I dragged my jet-lagged body into the house along with 8 people's worth of luggage and dirty laundry, the sight of a tidy house was a soothing sight.  One less thing to worry about.  And I won't even try to describe how those clean sheets felt on my newly-bathed and tired body that night.

4. Simple dinner, on time to bed.  On our drive home I was figuring out in my head what we were going to eat for dinner so I wouldn't react with take-out or junk.  My kids were asking for a drive-through meal on the way home, but I reminded them that we had all been eating more than our share of junk while on vacation.  My husband and I eating out, and the kids being spoiled by grandparents and uncles/aunts with pizza, ice cream, kids' meals, etc.  So I heated up some home-canned soup, made some biscuits, and sliced up some fresh tomatoes and fruit which we picked up at the fruit stand on our way home.  Then, we all went to bed on time even though it was Saturday night and our usual routine includes movies, late nights out with friends, or backyard campfires and s'mores after dark.  I knew we all needed to catch up and we had a much more peaceful morning after.

Little things make these huge undertakings that much easier, and enjoyable.  What steps do you take before and after you go on vacation?

Food #3

I promise this is the last food post.  I have had sinus problems and congestion my whole life.  I have read about a link between dairy and respiratory/nasal/sinus issues.  I decided to do a 3-week trial of eliminating dairy.  I noticed a big difference.  Usually I have a Kleenex on hand 24/7 because my nose always runs.  At the end of the 3 weeks I noticed that I was going the whole day without needing a tissue.  And that annoying junk in the back of my throat was gone.  Success!  Here's the problem:  it's hard to eliminate dairy.  Milk--no problem, I hate it.  Ice cream and cheese are more difficult, but doable for me.  The hardest part is all the hidden dairy in recipes and prepared foods.  I found myself having to make separate dishes for my family and for me.  Big pain.  So I have compromised and mostly avoid dairy.  I use almond milk on my granola, leave the cheese off the top of my portion of dinner and out of my sandwiches, and I only eat a bite or two of ice cream instead of a bowl when we have it.  I guess the little congestion is worth it for me.  Have you ever eliminated dairy?  What benefits did you notice?  Any other side effects?  This is still a work in progress for me.

As I have made improvements in my diet it has been a slow process.  And I think that is why it has been successful for me and it has stuck as permanent habits.  If I had had to go from where I was when I ate whatever, whenever to how I eat now overnight, I think I would have rebelled.  Incremental changes are the key for me.  Another key is moderation.  I don't want to scan every ingredient list and grill the waiter when I eat out.  And I don't want to abstain from my child's birthday cake.  So I do my best most of the time, and then I don't sweat the small infractions.  I guess I'm okay with an A-.

Food #2

Like I said in the last post, I have pared down my diet, eliminating or reducing the extraneous things in an effort to improve health.  I would rather tweak my diet and lifestyle than seek out medication or medical procedures.  I go to the doctor and I trust my doctor, but I truly believe that God blessed us with lots of ways to heal our minds and bodies, only one of them being medicine.

Let's talk about sugar.  I admit that I am a sugar addict.  I crave it, I lack self-control around it, and once I start on it, I can't stop.  I tried to reduce my sugar intake to no avail. A little bit made me want more.  So I decided to cut it out.  I tried several times, all the while telling myself I couldn't do it because I'm too much of a chocoholic.  But I finally did it with a few exceptions:  I eat sweets on special occasions, and I haven't cut out occasional quality dark chocolate.  I think it's my release valve and I justify it with all the health claims.

The first few days after divorcing myself from sugar are the worst--the withdrawal hits.  I get intense cravings and I get grumpy.  But after that the need disappears.  A tempting sweet can lure me, but I have few self-initiated cravings.  The habit is still there, but the physical yearning is gone.

So while I can avoid candy and other stuff like that, I had to figure out how to cook and bake without sugar.  I have used honey for awhile now, but in some applications the flavor is too strong and alters the taste of the food.  I use stevia and agave nectar with success.  Stevia works well in small amounts only.  I tried using it in a recipe that called for about 1/3 cup of sugar and the off-taste was too present.  But I can make a great cup of hot cocoa with a packet of stevia.  I use agave nectar when I want to replace sugar without the honey taste and the amount is more than a few teaspoons.  I make all my quick breads (pancakes, muffins, banana bread, etc.) with agave or honey and the texture is the same.  I think the flavor is a little less sweet, but that may be due to the fact that I use less honey or agave than sugar in the recipe because I am trying to refine my kids' taste for super sweet foods.

Last week I decided to try out cookies.  I thought it'd be an experiment where I'd have to make the same recipe multiple times trying to get it right.  I made a peanut blossom recipe with agave.  I had to add a little bit more flour because the dough was too soft, but they came out great.  I was pleasantly surprised with how well they turned out.  My kids had no idea they were 100% whole wheat and sugar-free (with the exception of the Hershey kiss on top--it's all about presentation, right?).

There are arguments that sugar substitutes are chemically equivalent to sugar and our bodies react in the same way to them, so why switch?  I don't know the answers to all of that, but I do know that even if it's true, I am less likely to overdo it on a food made with honey than I would be with candy or brownies.

The hardest part of this new sugar-free life is a group situation that involves dessert, for example going out for ice cream as a family, or attending an event where dessert is served.  At these times I use my discretion.  Sometimes I abstain and sometimes I use my exception option (see paragraph 2).

The benefits from this decision are many.  I feel like I am still gradually discovering them.  The biggest one for me is the reduction in my dependence on sweets.  Another unexpected benefit:  my body requires less sleep and I feel more alert during the day.  I used to nod off when I sat down to read stories to kids and if I didn't get 8+ hours per night I was tired and had a hard time dragging out of bed.  That has changed.  I haven't had a nap since I began this seriously (I want to take one just for fun though--I miss that delicious sun-coming-in-the-window afternoon nap).  I like to think that I'm more healthy in general as well.  Since I haven't lost any weight, that means my caloric level has remained constant.  So the calories I used to eat in sugar are now being consumed by more healthy foods and that's definitely an advantage.  And finally, the psychological benefit:  the success of conquering an addiction that I was slave to has strengthened me.  I did something I thought was impossible for me.  Have you ever tried to cut something out?  How did it go?

Food

I need to simplify somewhere in order to find more time to write!  I thought I'd share what I've been doing with my diet lately.  It's been a long process, but I have slowly eliminated or reduced what I deem the "extras"--refined sugar, preservatives, food colors, white flour, and most recently dairy.

I was raised on a simple diet of made-from-scratch meals and lots of fruits and vegetables.  I was always jealous of the kids who had Wonder Bread and Ding Dongs in their lunch boxes.  But I am grateful for the foundation my mom laid for us early of a wholesome diet with few processed foods.

My earliest big change was to nearly eliminate refined flour.  It's a known fact that whole grains are where it's at where nutrition is concerned.  I bake our bread and most of our treats and other 'carbs' with whole wheat flour.  If you can grind your own white wheat (which is a lighter wheat) or find a good quality whole wheat pastry flour, you can create fantastic baked goods with a nutritional edge.  It makes me feel better about fulfilling my maternal duty to provide my kids with homemade cookies when they are whole wheat.  I started early enough in their lives that they didn't notice and now are used to it, but if you are starting later in the game, go gradually so you don't have a revolt.  My husband has a more sensitive palate and can tell the difference, but I figure it's a small sacrifice to make in flavor for a big investment in health.

Unfortunately most baked goods you can buy in the store are not 100% whole grain, so I don't buy them very often.  They have become a special treat rather than our daily fare.  And they are now more special since they are rare.

Eating foods that are nearest their natural state is the best (and sometimes most simplest) way to eat.  Nutritionally, it's a no-brainer.  I am also learning more about how foods are processed and refined and it makes me happier with my decision when I read about the different chemical processes that our food undergoes to arrive in our stores in an attractive and tasty package.  There are also environmental impacts with these things (just a little bit of a tree-hugger, I promise).  If you aren't a home cook, there are good options for whole grain breads, tortillas, cereals, and even some snacks that you can buy ready-made.

I will discuss the other foods I mentioned in future posts, but for now, where do you fall on the grain spectrum?  Do you notice a difference in your life with the food choices you make?  Is it hard to get your family on board?